i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
