I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
