Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
