I'm going to jail i love you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
