I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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