'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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