i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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