she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You made out with two different species that night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
