Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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