Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
