That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
