she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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