If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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