would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
