do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
