Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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