My hand turned me down
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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