I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
