Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
