sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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