...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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