i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
