I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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