do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Randomize
