i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
