I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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