i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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