Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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