i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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