we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
