I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
