i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
