and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
