If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
