My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When did angry sex become our thing?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
