Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
