You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
