well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
