The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
