I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
that may or may not have been my penis.
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