he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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