You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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