i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
