Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
