I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
