do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
