turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
