did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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