Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
