Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
