I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
