My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
