idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
