Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
