Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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