It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
