But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
