i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
