why do cheetos always look like penises
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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